“The Bachelor” loved her for weeks, but he took only a few minutes to say goodbye. Have you ever had a new client make a quick decision to buy your product or service, only to panic and withdraw once you entered rough waters? Relationships that start too quickly often end just as fast.
We swim in a gotta-have-it-now ocean. Money. Food. Toys. Sex. Power. Answers. Results. Relationships…
The problem you face is that microwaved seafood always falls short, never as good as a fresh catch, prepared, pan-seared or grilled to perfection. The same can be said for relationships, both professional and personal. Like your close family members or people you have worked with for many years, your strongest connections develop with those whom you spend the most time in the water with. These are your “repeat customers,” the ones who rave about your business and tell others. These days, many representatives or “sellers” find themselves confused as to how to take relationships with “prospective buyers” to that level.
Some mistakingly believe that “wowing” their prospective clients with flowers and candy… and then asking for the sale builds relationship. Such attempts don’t always result in failure, but they’re most often premature. Gifts carry more meaning after a relationship has already been established. After all, which touches you more — receiving flowers from someone you know, or someone you may not care to meet?
Microwaved business relationships often stir up unintended waves of discontent. A prospective client may actually become annoyed because you haven’t yet earned the right to take his time. Professional Courtship respects the clients time rather than waste it. Have you ever received emails from strangers and immediately deleted them? You earn the right to ask clients for their time when you can demonstrate that you have their best interests in mind, able to accomplish one or both of the following:
1) Generate revenue for their businesses
2) Save them time and money.
Relationship begins when you avoid the temptation to circle– thinking only of your needs, talking only about yourself or your company–and instead take time to find out what drives your prospective clients. When you ask questions that reveal what is important to them and why, the reasons they choose one direction over another, and why they agree to meet with YOU, you find yourself swimming with the current instead of against it. The more “why’s” you discover now, the less “woes” you experience later.
If you don’t invest your time discovering the why’s, you get submarined by words that sound great on the surface, but hide the real conversation going on beneath the waves– the ones that mumble “You’re just like all of the other sharks I meet everyday. You only want one thing.” Wouldn’t you rather identify what lurks below now, get it out in the open, and deal with it before it’s too late?
Once you discover the “whys” you are better equipped to design a plan that serves your client the best, skipping all of the pre-packaged stuff you brought with you to the meeting, none of which resonates. From that moment on, you tread smack in the middle of the deep end where awkward introductions cease and courtship begins–the point at which both you and your client commit to sharing risk. What you discover during your first encounter sets the stage for the future.
Why do relationships on The Bachelor or The Bachelorette rarely work out? In a contrived environment where each contestant’s agendas do all of the talking, fantasy eventually submits to the pressures of reality, revealing their true intentions. Solid relationships begin where your client’s desire and your offer intersect. Your ability to demonstrate what you can do for them, and then provide a payoff, determines what direction your relationship is headed.
So, when you first meet, will you immediately say to customers, “Please accept this rose.”
OR will you ask the important questions, namely, “How important are Roses to you, and why?”
If you don’t discover the why’s, you’ll forever remain the proverbial professional bachelor, devouring all future potential in an endless stream of one-night stands, continually hunting for long-term relationship but never experiencing it.
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